The following was sent to the brother and sisters after several emails over delays to having an unveiling on dad’s “3rd” Anniversary. The event had been delayed for various reasons (ie awaiting Carolyn to come out to NZ etc, etc) and I could see it not happening so I said it all needed to be done by 21/08/10. Andy wanted to make the headstone and all was on track, but he hadn’t allowed for the long cure time on the concrete. I spun out, resulting in a few emails flitting around the block and we ended up having a Memorial Service with Andy presenting the fruit of his labour. My dad he died awhile back And left us in the lurch. We dug a hole and threw him in And said a prayer at church. Some of us we prayed for peace And some maybe for joy ‘Cos Andy stormed off in a fit …he was a naughty boy! He thinks that Mary lost the plot And probably she did He’s hardly spoken to her since And acted like a kid. As time went by we thought that things Would prob’ly cool off soon But Andy really held his grudge And Mary’s on the moon. The rest of us got on with life And thought we’d shove a stone Upon the Old Man’s Resting Place (To stop ‘im walking home) So Andy thought, ‘That job’s for me’ But I don’t want a Boss He toiled and sweat to get it done And made a Celtic Cross But time it wasn’t on his side The cure took too long Four odd weeks to set real hard And now he’s upset John Then Mary got down off her perch She’d fi-na-lly woke up Cemet’ries and Churches Do not feature in her cup ‘That’s not for me’ she said to us (She really is an Ogre) ‘But come on down to Woodside all I’ve wine and tea and yoga’ About this time Old John did smirk He can’t believe this crap But he didn’t rise and take the bate Instead he had a nap. My dear Old Dad he died… And we’re all hoping he was good ‘Cos otherwise he’d prowl around And haunt us if he could ‘Cos now that Mary’s lost her ropes And Andy is a knave I think the old man’s really pissed And spinning in his grave Not that I am any Saint In fact I am an arse I hope I don’t find Doggy Doo When skipping on the grass And if you find this little ode Does grip you in the craw Have another cup of tea And put the unveiling off until next year…or the year after…or why bother at all!! JFM Some people are born arseholes…but I really work at it!
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