The following was sent to the brother and sisters after several emails over delays to having an unveiling on dad’s “3rd” Anniversary. The event had been delayed for various reasons (ie awaiting Carolyn to come out to NZ etc, etc) and I could see it not happening so I said it all needed to be done by 21/08/10. Andy wanted to make the headstone and all was on track, but he hadn’t allowed for the long cure time on the concrete. I spun out, resulting in a few emails flitting around the block and we ended up having a Memorial Service with Andy presenting the fruit of his labour.
My dad he died awhile back
And left us in the lurch.
We dug a hole and threw him in
And said a prayer at church.
Some of us we prayed for peace
And some maybe for joy
‘Cos Andy stormed off in a fit
…he was a naughty boy!
He thinks that Mary lost the plot
And probably she did
He’s hardly spoken to her since
And acted like a kid.
As time went by we thought that things
Would prob’ly cool off soon
But Andy really held his grudge
And Mary’s on the moon.
The rest of us got on with life
And thought we’d shove a stone
Upon the Old Man’s Resting Place
(To stop ‘im walking home)
So Andy thought, ‘That job’s for me’
But I don’t want a Boss
He toiled and sweat to get it done
And made a Celtic Cross
But time it wasn’t on his side
The cure took too long
Four odd weeks to set real hard
And now he’s upset John
Then Mary got down off her perch
She’d fi-na-lly woke up
Cemet’ries and Churches
Do not feature in her cup
‘That’s not for me’ she said to us
(She really is an Ogre)
‘But come on down to Woodside all
I’ve wine and tea and yoga’
About this time Old John did smirk
He can’t believe this crap
But he didn’t rise and take the bate
Instead he had a nap.
My dear Old Dad he died…
And we’re all hoping he was good
‘Cos otherwise he’d prowl around
And haunt us if he could
‘Cos now that Mary’s lost her ropes
And Andy is a knave
I think the old man’s really pissed
And spinning in his grave
Not that I am any Saint
In fact I am an arse
I hope I don’t find Doggy Doo
When skipping on the grass
And if you find this little ode
Does grip you in the craw
Have another cup of tea
And put the unveiling off until next year…or the year after…or why bother at all!!
JFM Some people are born arseholes…but I really work at it!
These blogs were posted on the KiwiBiker forum but I decided it was time for a change.