Today I experienced something out of the ordinary…..or perhaps more correctly…something I haven’t encountered for about 20 years.
Our normal week these days is for the Moko’, (Avania) to be dropped at the office at 0800 so she can entertain us before I have to walk her to school, which is all of a couple of hundred metres up to and around the corner. We brought her a scooter for Christmas (ensuring it could cope with 100Kg) and she scoots to school (uphill) then hands it over so the poor frail old koro can scoot back to the office….sometimes in jeans….and sometimes in a suit & tie!
On Wednesdays, Avania’s mum works late so we pick her up from school and she stays the night, which also means breakfast on Thursdays might be at the café and a brought lunch is ordered. However, last night Nanny Ann and I went out for dinner and hence couldn’t have our weekly date, so the moko’ had to stay by her cousies, but I was still scheduled to walk Avania & Jake to school from his place.
I turned up early to find my mate Jake in a bit of a tizz, as he couldn’t find his ‘Yellow Thingy’ which he needed for show-and-tell. As it came closer to the time to head out, things deteriorated to the point that Jake had decided that going to school without the yellow thingy wasn’t an option and therefore he was winding up the performance as well as mother’s temper to the point that a Time-out was called for…..Trouble was, Jake seemed to think that was a good idea and no sooner had mum got him there than the realisation hit her and she did an immediate about turn.
This of course did nothing for Jake….except raise his volume and level of handling difficulty, and I soon found myself at the gate, with Avania’s Jacket and Jake’s bag & scooter in one hand, with a very squirmy, noisy Jake in the other …as his mum’s derriere hastily disappeared up the steps and out of sight!!! Hmmmmm….I thought…..I’m a bit out of practice here!!?
I briefly tried a little reason by stating that he could enjoy a scoot to school or do it the hard way, but that fell on deaf ears and as there were time constraints, I began the long drag as my mate Jake squirmed, wriggled, tried to prize the ‘fingers-of-steel’ free and generally made life as difficult as possible, with as much noise and wailing as possible.
We were making progress though and Avania was having a great time scooting out and back as Jake persisted in trying to grab a hold of fences and shrubbery to halt the progress. I paused briefly at the first corner we came to, feeling the need to change hands, at which time Jake spotted a flaw in the nearest fence and made a grab, clinging desperately as I applied the pressure and he finally broke free. Meanwhile, with my attention diverted, Avania had started to cross the road, finding herself in the centre with an oncoming SUV tooting to clear it’s path, but we made it across safely and I thought to myself, “Boy are you lucky Jake, ‘cos 20 years ago there was little patience or tolerance and you’d have a size 9 up the ring-piece by now, with a ‘Here’s something to cry about!’ to go with it”.
But I’m now older and wiser …and that bitch Sue Bradford, as well as Aunty Helen saw to it that I couldn’t act on my impulses….so we continued on our way. Jake squawking and me, with vice-like grip, smiling to the nice people as they made way for us.
The next obstacle we encountered was a pole with a bus sign and as Jake was now on my left, he was able to wrap his arm around it as we passed, holding on for dear life and the hope that mother would come and rescue him….bloody dreamer. Once again the pressure was gradually increased to the point a release was achieved and his free hand then went in search of any possible anchored object to slow our progress and this bought to my attention how many SUVs have bar type door-handles these days. A slight acceleration or change in direction prevented any effective contact though and we continued.
As we approached the School Crossing, I realised that I would have to walk him all the way to his classroom as the slightest hint of freedom would result in Jake doing a runner back home and my dodgy hip would make it a close call on a recapture.
By this time I had warmed up to the point of getting a glow-on and I was quite thankful I’d missed my gym session that morning. We crossed into the school grounds and were approaching his classroom as the bell went. Jake was deposited at school. Avania was happy ‘cos I was too knackered to argue the point that I should take her scoot’. I stripped off my jacket and headed back to the office.
The Yellow Thingy provided some entertainment and a diversion from the day to day hum drum experiences. I got to appreciate that Jake can be a little arsehole (which is good ‘cos some people are born arseholes but I really work at it) and that means it’s continuing in the genes. Also I got to appreciate that the little bloke has a bit more tenacity, grit and desperation than I had credited him with. I had a smile all the way back to the office and enjoyed relaying the saga to Nanny Ann and his mum…..and so another family legend is born. All I need to do now is think of some embellishments!
I still don't know what the Yellow Thingy is but....?
These blogs were posted on the KiwiBiker forum but I decided it was time for a change.