Long John Silver Morphs Into Johnnie Walker

I got a bit of unwelcome news yesterday!
 
Last week (Friday) I got to work and had difficulty distinguishing the numbers in my spreadsheet and I guess the only way I can describe it would be to say it was a bit like having a migraine.
 
Now I’ve never known the pain of a migraine, but I experienced my first ‘No-Pain Migraine’ in my mid-teens when I was on the rugby field ….playing at the time I might add! It was the most weird experience as, all of a sudden it was looking down a tube where I couldn’t really focus properly on the centre of my visual field and all around that was these swirling strips of light. Every now an then I get these things, they last 5 or 10 minutes and that’s it ….but in this case I didn’t have the swirly bits and it didn’t go away.
 
I went back into work on Saturday to paint one of  rooms as we were converting it to be the new boardroom, but before I started, I logged in and dropped the banking, only to find I was still having the problems with my vision and that prompted one of those WTF responses.
 
Also, I guess you could say I had a gay old time trying to cut-in on the painting around the covings, skirtings and windows!!
 
Come Tuesday, things felt a little better with the vision but I had made up my mind to contact the optician to get it checked, she had a slot available at 1030, so I took that, tested OK except for a minor black spot ….and she referred me to the Eye Clinic at the Hospital, where they had a slot available at 1500. Bloody marvelous, I said I’d take it.
 
I ended up spending 1430 to 1930 at the hospital doing some of the same tests and some different ones, then saw one of the ophthalmologists, she said vision was OK, rang her boss, then rang the neuro team and said I was good to go. I must say though that at the time, I was thinking, “what the hell are you ringing the neuro team for because I already know I’m a psycho!!”
 
I went back to work and on Thursday morning I got a call from the nice Asian Doctor (but I can’t even remember her name), and she advised that the Neuro Team would like me to have an MRI and there was a slot free at 1500, so I took that, called Ann and she came with me. …Friggin’ noisy things those MRI machines, but I’m pretty sure I managed a couple of wee naps during the half hour I was in the thing!
 
Anyway, the week went in a flash and on Friday at about 1700 (yes I was still at work), Asian Doctor Lady rings again, she asked if I was OK to talk and dropped a clanger! “You’ve had a bit of a stroke!” she said!
 
Bugger Me! I sat there and a few moments later it hit me! My Great-Aunt Dolly was a stroke victim who was cared for by my Grandmother and I only remember her as requiring a stick and had difficulty talking. …and my dad died of a massive stroke at 83 in 2007!! That resulted in a couple of quiet tears, I packed up and gapped it to pick-up Ann.
 
As I drove from Khandallah into town to get Ann I went through a flood of thoughts and emotions….Poor Me, an effing stroke! ….Lucky Me, a minor effing stroke and I’m OK …serves you right you fat bastard! ….an effing stroke!! …poor me, tears ….lucky me ….more tears and by the time I got to Capital Gateway I was somewhere between numb and a mess. (PS. I think the tears were because I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to ride!!!) (Also, I should mention that I’ve been driving all week with no problems because I was blissfully unaware there was one!!)
 
Ann hopped in, I blurted it out, we swapped seats, went home, had a feed, I checked out a couple of things online, settled down, had a good night’s sleep and now, like always, I thank my lucky stars, my guardian angels (because I know there has always needed to be a team of them), my ancestors (although they’re the bastards that passed on the dodgy genes) for looking after me and letting me off with a wake-up call.
 
Blood pressure is good but I need to lose at least 7Kgs …ok, maybe 10 or more but 7 is about a stone and with that, the cholesterol should drop a notch or two and I should be OK?
 
I suppose I’ll know in a week or a month or a few months ….but in the meantime, feel free to call me Johnnie Walker!! …and depending on what stage of the cycle you catch me ….and how long I’ve been off the bike, I might laugh ….or I might punch you!!